"Sometimes pain becomes such a huge part of your life that you expect it to always be there…because you can't remember a time in your life when it wasn't. But then one day you feel something else-something that feels wrong, only because it's so unfamiliar. And in that moment you realize…you're happy."

9.23.2005

lost and found


i lost my favorite hanky. sadness. clumsy me. it is in my favorite shade of green with little bears in it. it's my fault, i admit. jeez. i hate losing something because i know how it feels. i'll be in agony for days looking for it or blaming reckless me. the worst is being reminded of its loss everytime i'll see anything that reminds me of it. argh! that's why i'm so careful with my things. although sometimes however careful i may be, there will always come a moment when negligence slips in and whips havoc on my sanity. but just as what the saying goes if a door closes, a window will open or something to that effect. heh! so after some days of agonizing over the lost hanky, my last lost something resurfaced. that prepaid mrt card i thought i’ve left in the slot on my way out the buendia station on one of my visit to paseo. i was running late that morning, so as soon as i was collected in the office and was able to put my things in order, that card was gone. i’ve searched my pockets, jacket and bag for it. after rummaging through my things i got exhausted tracking back where i might have dropped it. right then i’ve accepted the fact that it was really gone. but i found it today! it turned out that it was inside the secret pocket of the jacket i used that day! how could that happened? when in fact i’ve turned those pockets inside out. weird huh?! oh well, i’m still sad about that hanky. huhu.

9.01.2005

of rainbows and uninvited memories

I saw a rainbow last Sunday afternoon.
My kid brother excitedly pointed it out to my sister and me.

If my memory serves me right,

the last time I saw one was about 4 years ago.
I was so excited then that I even texted my friends about it.
It was like witnessing something magical for the first time!
That same day I will be moving in to our boarding house…
With a new sense of freedom and the prospect of a blooming infatuation,
Life was pure bliss!

Catching a glimpse of a rainbow again was different.
Although it still is a heavenly sight to behold for me.
I am not the same.
Times have changed.
Even my feelings are something else.
Melancholy strikes me…

Then I remember reading somewhere

that rainbows are signs of good luck.
Something stirred within me.
Because from where I am in this journey,
That kind of blessing from above is definitely appreciated.
It wasn’t only a signal of providence but also a symbol of hope.

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first post! wiihhh...